What exactly is a fresh start?

It’s a phrase we hear often. I am making a fresh start today (or tomorrow after this pizza!).

But what exactly does it mean to ‘make a fresh start?’

Well in my line of work you get to hear a lot of people talking about this in some form or other. They might say ‘I am going to end this relationship and I will feel better’. Or perhaps ‘When we move to Australia, everything will be different’. Well often it is the case that they might go into another relationship and find that the patterns of their old relationship are repeating. They go across whole oceans and find that they still have problems with their neighbours. They change jobs and find that they are still being bullied in the workplace as they have been since their school days.

In psychology you may hear the term ‘locus of control’ (the Latin scholar in me remembers that ‘locus’ means place). This concept was developed by Julian Rotter in the 60s.

It indicates that some people take more ownership of their feelings and actions and think they have some control about what happens in their life through hard work or decisions they make. These people would be said to have an ‘internal locus of control’. They tend to feel more in control of their ‘destiny’ (if they even believe in it!) and therefore more positive about the future.

Others are more likely to feel as is everything happens ‘to them’ and they cannot control their environment. They are often quicker to blame outside influences for their circumstances and consequently may feel more helpless to control and change their circumstances.

It should be mentioned that many people may have a more internal locus of control in some areas of their lives and a more external locus of control in others. So they may believe that they can gain promotion and excel at work, but not have any control over finding love and a good relationship.

So how is all this relevant to making a fresh start? Well, I believe that a fresh start can be facilitated by making changes such as changing job, beginning or ending a relationship, moving home or starting at the gym. These things are all based in taking action and shifting stagnant energy and so naturally new feelings will be generated. So why do some people do these sorts of things and still find that ‘nothing has changed’ in how they feel and even in the issues they are experiencing?

I looked for a quote to say what I wanted to convey but I could not find one so here is one from me that might sum it up.

“Sometimes, it doesn’t matter where you move to, what job you are in, which relationship you choose or what you do sometimes you still carry the same baggage with you. A fresh start must first and foremost come from within.”

- Amanda Benbelaid